MostPeculiarMomma's Xanga

Friday, August 22, 2008

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 23:55:46 GMT

I have made the move to WordPress. See you over there, I hope.
http://mostpeculiarmomma.wordpress.com/

This Xanga will remain active, but I will not be updating it.

~MPM

Does anybody really care?

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:16:09 GMT

Does anyone care if I move to a new site?

But then... do I care if you care?

~MPM

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 21:03:40 GMT

I've fallen

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:40:45 GMT

Seems like at least twice a year I take a nice tumble onto the pavement. And for some reason, the last 3 years I've fallen during the last week of July. Remember this beauty? (see Aug. 9, 2006 post)

Yeah, well, I did it again. Not badly, but equally ungracefully. I'm pissed off and embarrassed.

Does anyone else out there have falling problems?

~MPM

Another reader writes

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 00:29:33 GMT

Dear MPM,
My daughter just turned a year old. While I'm very proud of her (and myself for not dropping her...often) I can't shake that bittersweet feeling every time she hits a new milestone. The feeling that it's all happening so fast, and someday my little baby will be grown and we won't have what we have now. Why can't they just stay babies till they turn eighteen and then they can move out and go to college?

Jokes aside, I can't help but feeling a little sad when I think of it. Is this normal or am I being ridiculous? How can I help shake off my feeling of loving my new toddler (she took her first steps yesterday!) but missing my tiny baby?

-Bittersweet and Sad

Dear BS,
My daughter just turned twenty-one years old, and while there are times I get nostalgic for the little girl who played Cinderella with my bright red shoes, I have adored her without regret each moment of her life (the boy, too, but I'm trying to parallel, so get over it, Tom).

You get the feeling that life goes fast? It does! And you're wasting the precious little time you've been given to thoroughly enjoy that child just as she is right now, at this moment. You are most ungrateful.

MPM isn't a religious person, but she does acknowledge her Maker, and respects those who strive to know the Ultimate Reality. And, no doubt, you know that MPM is no conservative, but years ago was a regular listener of Dr. Laura Schlessinger. One of her books talks about what she considers to be the most important of the The Ten Commandments:
#10 You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

OK, so it would be nice to have that ox and donkey (and you probably could use a servant right now), but that is not what you've been given. And to look upon what others have, and to desire them, is to be ungrateful for the gifts God has given to you. You have a beautiful healthy daughter who wants nothing more than for her mother to love her with no strings attached --- no regrets, no "I wish you were".... what?.... a baby again? smarter? thinner? less ornery? Where does the wishing-for-things-out-of-your-control stop?

Another religion, I believe it's Zen Buddhism, exhorts its followers to focus on the present and the now. In reminiscing on the past or worrying about the future, we miss the terribly beautiful moment of now.

Enjoy that child right now and be grateful and happy for her. Otherwise you will have memories of nothing but sadness, and she will feel like a failure for never living up to her mother's unrealistic expectations of her.

One more thing: your little baby will be grown, and you won't have what you have now?
I surely hope so. Changing diapers on a twenty-one year old would suck!

~MPM

Old fat ladies wanted

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:21:21 GMT

I answered an ad requesting participation in a medical study for a 12-week program to study the effect of walking on a hormone that contributes to breast cancer.   The ad specified "overweight post-menopausal women who can walk a mile in less than 20 minutes." I was the perfect candidate!

Enthusiastically I called the number. The study's initial screener seemed pleased to have a volunteer and told me that they also wanted to see if daily phone reminders and required log-ins would increase motivation for the walkers. I became eager to begin the program as she explained some of the other perqs: pedometer, gift certificate, etc.   I could get my butt in gear, AND contribute to medicine and all womankind.

When she asked more specific questions regarding my health and weight, though, I became a little edgy. I had already volunteered myself as an old fat lady. Surely that humiliation should guarantee me a spot!   "Your BMI needs to be between this and this, and if you are just 7 pounds heavier than what you've told me, you'll be ineligible." In other words, I would be considered above the "overweight" category, and into the other one beginning with "o" that I shall not name.

A few days later, I "passed" the overweight test and the mile walk test, had the blood drawn, filled out the paperwork, and clipped the digital pedometer to my waistband. The goal is to average 8000 steps (about 4 miles) per day by the end of 12 weeks. My sedentary lifestyle has me at less than 2000 per day. When I park my car at the far garage at work, I can easily get 5000. With a couple of walks with the dogs every now and then, I should have no trouble... except for one. Getting the dang walking shoes on is exhausting!!!

~MPM

I said that?

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:44:12 GMT

Background - where I work, email addresses are assigned according to one's last name and the number of people who share that name. There is smith.1 to smith.7243, for example.

So I have a prospective student whose last name is Johnson, and I wanted to introduce him to some of our current students:

Me: So maybe you guys can swap email addresses. What's your dot number?

Student: It's .9423. It's huge!

Me: Well, it's a Johnson.....

Yes. I really did.
The really embarrassing part, though, is that one of our professors had to point out the gaff to me afterwards.

~MPM

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 20:52:48 GMT

Kudos to Cautious for being MPM's first test case! Too rough on him? Maybe, but MPM promised brutally honest.

It's emancipating to have a forum where the politically correct roles of counselor and real mom can be abandoned. MPM wants to say what she really REALLY thinks. Besides, all of us could use a thwack-across-the-head approach now and then.

~MPM

A reader writes

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:34:24 GMT

Dear MPM:
I think I still like my ex-girlfriend from a couple years back. We're friends now, but I don't know how/if I should broach the subject.
-Cautious

Dear Chickenshit:
You THINK you still like her? WTH? Thwack across the back of your head.
Yes or no? Do you or don't you? Stop being such a wuss and make up your pansyass mind. No woman worth pursuing wants to deal with your indecisiveness.

Nothing is hotter to a woman than a man who speaks his mind, especially when it comes to stating his affection for her. Add romance to it, and she's yours. MPM suggests six mixed-color long-stem roses, symbolizing the various emotions you hold for her. The flowers should come with a note explaining the symbolism, and asking if she will accept them all. If she keeps only the yellow one, you still have a friend.

Keep us posted.
~MPM

Dear MPM

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 21:31:03 GMT

I think I would like to start a Dear MPM advice column.

Anyone want to receive brutally honest advice with a touch of wit?

~MPM